Sunday, May 15, 2011

"If You Want to be Miserable, Become a Vegan" by Will Kyle

Photo by Colin Michael Shaw

Will Kyle was one of ten readers who stepped up to the •chance operations• open-mic at the April 4 reading at Duff's.

The next reading will be Monday, May 23, at Duff's, 392 North Euclid, in the Central West End.

Featured readers will be Eileen G'Sell, Susan SpitFire Lively, and Robert Nazarene.

Doors open at 7:30 p.m.; admission is $3.

Advance sign-up for the open-mic following the featured readers is encouraged. Click here to sign-up via e-mail.

Will Kyle, a native of St. Louis, earned his BA in English at the University of Iowa and is currently an MFA candidate in poetry at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. Will also performs as a singer/songwriter at open microphones around town. His poetry has been published or is forthcoming in Barbaric Yawp, Great Lakes Review, Earthwords, Big Muddy and elsewhere.

If You Want to be Miserable, Become a Vegan

The sky patters
the roof. You

finish, slip
your spotless

dish into the
sink and scrub

out the drawer
marked Meats.

A square soy
patty lingers

on my plate.
It jiggles

when I poke it.
I wish for

Jimmy Dean
and savor

my last pool
of yellow over

easy as it
ebbs toward

the toasted
whole wheat

with a half
moon missing.

In the garden,
a starling

at the feeder
bullies the thrushes.

The fence rattles
as the garbage

truck beeps

the alley
to collect

empty jerky
bags, Twinkie

and cans of Cool

Whip. I ought
to drive

to a bakery
that serves milk

on my way
to work.

I try to screw
the pooch

with the soy.
She sniffs

and withdraws,
leaving only

a screw you
fart behind.

You aim
your sponge

at the cheese
drawer. I mourn

and Velveeta.

You say
White Russians

are not part
of our future

routine. Ice
cream too.

What about
Frozen Yogurt?

When I go
for the paper,

a raindrop blows
in my eye.

Why not
a sputter of grease

spit from
crackling pan?

I sigh and rub
my face

as I will come
dinner: broiled

tofu, steamed
broccoli—no cheese.

-- Will Kyle

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