Rae Cailliach & Marie Lecrivain's "Manifesto of a Sexy Librarian"

Rae Cailliach stepped up to the Chance Operations open-mic on October 25 and read a couple of poems by Marie Lecrivain.

The next Chance Operations reading will be Monday, November 22, at Duff's, 392 North Euclid, in the Central West End. Cover will be $3.00; doors open at 7:30 p.m.

Thanks to Marie Lecrivain for letting us post her poem. You can click here to order a copy of her book, Antebellum Messiah.


Manifesto of a Sexy Librarian

“Sexy Librarian.”
a name I’ve heard since who knows or cares when.
It’s what you say to yourself when you first gaze on me,
bespectacled, a solemn look upon my face,
at war with the inviting hips and plentiful breasts
you fight the urge to explore.
You’re not sure what to make of me,
this dichotomy of a woman
with the body of a whore and the mind of a terrorist.
I will be trouble, with a capital "T,"
and you don’t care, because I am different,
not a bimbo, chanteuse, or ingenue,
or even a lonely spinster waiting for her Harlequin Romance.
Just someone different, a novelty.
So, you probe the layers. Peer with your magnifier
into the myriad facets of who I am,
those you choose to see, anyway,
Sometimes pleased,
sometimes unpleasantly surprised
by my soft glitter or sharp edges,
that say, “welcome,” or “fuck off,”
when my feelings are tested, validated or failed
by your actions or words to my person.
You can’t seem to get past that first impression,
which is,
you think it’s okay,
to screw me at your leisure
and talk to me like I’m one of the guys.
I know your heart is not in this journey we are taking,
only your dick and
your idle curiosity at what you consider me to be:
A gorgeous freak!
But, I 'm not
a freak.
I'm the girl next door.
I 'm the hopeful romantic.
I 'm the would-be wife and mother of some future family,
and I will not be trifled or played!
Like a librarian, I know of many things in life,
many experiences, many people and what they think,
especially, all about you,
who was too busy telling me
about yourself,
and not even listening when I told you,
loudly and clearly,
I am a WOMAN!
I have FEELINGS!
RESPECT them!
When things get difficult,
I say these things,
and you run away from me,
fearful and not understanding you broke a rule,
one I established in the beginning,
and you leave me in the quiet.
What can I do now?
I cannot change WHO I am.
I will not shift my appearance to something
more uniform to your plebian eyes,
and I will not speak lies to comfort you
when we fall into the dark spaces of each other.
I don’t have all the answers,
like the librarian you want me to be.
My heart and soul are not an institution.
But, you will NEVER get another chance,
because you are trapped in the narcissism
your isolation provides.
I feel sorry for you,
and really,
it’s a shame.
You see,
I am the woman all you men want.
even if I'm just a “Sexy Librarian.”

-- Marie Lecrivain